Watching
by Princess180
Summary: A series of HM vignettes (thanks to the reviewer who corrected me on this goof).I was originally planning on doing every ep through to GFA, but some just have no possibility for HM content! Two new drabbles up 7 31 04
1. Hotlips Is Back In Town I

**A/N: My First MASH fic! Yay! This will be a series of drabbles, not sure how many.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. But I would like a Hawkeye. **

He watches her, almost all the time now, out of the corner of his eye, in Post-Op, anywhere. Of course, his patients still get all of his attention on the operating table, but, he didn't obsess over them half as much any more- he watched her, out of the corner of his eye, mostly, but sometimes giving into the urge to outright stare. He notices things he hadn't noticed in the past two and a half years, like the fact that when she yells at her nurses, she always regrets it afterwards, or that she stirs her morning coffee exactly fifteen times before drinking it, or that she plays with her hair when she was nervous and bit her bottom lip when she was scared and of course, that she watches him too.  
  
Not as much, he doesn't think, but he notices her doing it. She does it in Pre-Op, mostly, when she thinks all of his attention is on the patient in front of him, maybe 99.9% of it is, but not all of it, there's always room for her. She's done it once or twice when they're eating, but normally she realizes he's looking then, and turns away quickly, BJ told him she does it in OR too, during one of his 'go-get-the-girl-you-idiot' talks, which are anything but inspirational. They annoy him, because he can't just go... the last woman he loved felt ignored, and this one's been through enough. More than enough.  
  
But still, the thought that she watches him sends a warm feeling to his stomach and makes him blush.


	2. Hotlips Is Back In Town II

**A/N: There will be two drabbles an episode between Hotlips is Back In Town and whenever I decide to stop. Possibly GFA, but don't count on it. That's a really long time! **

**Disclaimer: I own zip. **

It's not that big of a problem. She just- likes- looking at him. Most of the time, and also just like to imagine what it might be like to kiss him again. In excruciating detail. And occasionally she accidentally calls him 'Hank' but that's all. That's it, it's not as if she, plays around with Post-Op duty so their always together, or... shows up in the Swamp for drinks when she could have gone to the officers club. Well, not that often.  
  
Besides, they both know how it would end. A fight that the entire camp would see, a squabble in OR that would turn personal, her past coming back to haunt him at night. Except... except he's not that kind of man, he may womanize. But he womanizes with one woman at one time than he moves on to the next when that relationship dies. Which means that she would never, if in a relationship with him, get told of his weird fingernail fetish being played out on other woman while she was slaving away over an operating table. Not that she thinks he has a fingernail fetish, she's establishes, over the past few months, that he is most definitely a boob man.  
  
She wishes she could stop looking at him, wishes she could stop herself from going to him when she hurts. But she can't.


	3. CAVE I

**Disclaimer: It ain't mine. **

He may not be that squeamish of a person, but the idea of a small enclosed space makes him ill. Physically ill. And sitting out here with her, in the fresh air, her only a few centimeters away, imagined death surpassed, is almost as unbearable as that stupid hole in the rocks. He can't think of something he wouldn't give to have the guts to reach out and wrap an arm around her.  
  
He was surprised that she was scared of loud noises, it seemed odd, somehow. She's an explosion of her own, different colors, blond hair (bottled, he's sure of it), tanned skin, red nails and sparkling blue eyes, different shapes, all rounded except for her face, which is bonier than she pretends it is. They haven't spoken in a few minutes, which is odd for them. Normally they'll do anything to fill the empty space between insults when they're forced to admit that they really do like each other.  
  
Well, alright, he doesn't just like her. But how do the words "I love you", work their way into a conversation about different types of tongue depressors?


	4. CAVE II

**Disclaimer and AN: It isn't mine. Thanks to all the lovely reviewers. **

Most people born and raised in the army, she knows, have no fear of bombs. And it's not the bombs she's scared of, it's the noises the bombs make, she's equally terrified of fireworks. Sow hat if it's not the most sensible thing. He's afraid of small spaces so... ha! Except, she has to admit that that has some basis in reality. Just a very, very small one. Tiny, really. Insignificant. Almost.  
  
Of course, she's never realized before just how much it scares her to see him scared. Which is ridiculous because she's her, the corpsmen are scared of her, and she's almost dead sure that her ex-husband was as well. BJ thinks of her as a sort of anomaly because she loves the army- never, she thinks, a proper person. Charles, she is almost certain doesn't think of her at all, because he's Charles he doesn't think of anyone but himself. If he were to offer her a moment's thought, she wouldn't be surprised to learn that he thought she was commanding, overbearing and part seductress (there have been some incidents with Charles that she'd prefer not to talk about). But he's not afraid of her- he knows that she's just as weak as the rest of them most of the time. Just better at hiding it.  
  
And she wonders if he knows that he knows her better than anyone else on this planet. And that her walls would fall down with the slightest tap from him. She knows the answer is no. She just doesn't know how to tell him. Other than sitting here with him, all alone. Helping.


	5. Preventive Medicine I

**Disclaimer: It ain't mine. Love to the reviewers. **

He hates himself so much right now- what he just did is totally unforgivable. He doesn't give a damn how many lives he just saved, he just effectively murdered himself, as a person and as a doctor. He thinks that Radar who has confessed that he's his hero, would be disappointed, he knows his father would be. Trapper would... understand, but still berate him for giving up his integrity- the one thing he held onto throughout this entire goddamn war.  
  
The pain of having done something that... unlike him, is like a gun wound. Like that boy the nurse from the 8063rd he met in Seoul told him about, the one who had a grenade go off in his hand. Or maybe as if he's been stabbed. It's driving him insane- and he realizes that he can't just drink it away. She caught his eye this morning at breakfast and just knew that she knew perfectly well what he'd done and why he'd done it- and she didn't approve. Even he knew that was ridiculous- BJ was the only one who knew what he'd done, he was just looking for someone who would yell at him, curse him- do anything but be disappointed in him, and he wishes it would be her. Hell, at least that would prove she cared.  
  
And God, he wants to be anyone but him and anywhere but here right now.


	6. Preventive Medicine II

**Disclaimer: Not my sandbox. **

Something's worrying him. She can tell, mostly because he hasn't made any inappropriate comments towards any of her nurses yet today, which is a rare miracle for which she is very thankful. In a way. In the way that at least she won't have to pretend to hate him today. But, if she were to be completely honest with herself- it's killing her. He's always cheerful, well, not cheerful, but never this melancholy.  
  
He smiles when no one else can even bear to use that many facial muscles. He sings (badly) when everyone else is finding breathing too tiring for their liking. Somehow, his refusal to cave in inspires the rest of them- a long time ago, it seems, Henry Blake said that he was the heart of the camp- she'd thought Henry insane at the time (and still thinks that he was off his rocker) but now she knows he was right. He's the heartbeat of the camp.  
  
And he's her heart, which, watching him while he stirs his coffee listlessly and looks inches from tears, has stopped beating entirely, she thinks.


	7. Are You Now Margaret I

So, apparently she's a communist sympathizer. He's trying extremely, extremely hard not to actually giggle. He doubts he can hold out much longer. He can't deny that the first thing that came to mind when he heard the accusations was to throw a punch at someone.  
  
He wants to take care of her. He wants nothing ever to hurt her again, and he hates that she's in this place. He realizes she's anything but innocent- but still. There's something about her that just makes him want to wrap her up in a protective cocoon.  
  
He realizes, however, that should he even try, she would murder him in cold blood. 


	8. Are You Now Margaret II

**Sorry about the little goof in the last sentence when I first posted this... Oh, and to HM Writer, who asked how long it takes me to write these. About three minutes. **

She does not do this any more. She is her own woman. She does not need a man to save her, absolutely not. And just the fact that he participating in this cockamamie (note to self: never speak to Colonel Potter again, apparently it's catching) most definitely does not make her swoon. Which would, of course, explain all the swooning.  
  
Ok, so, she'll admit it. She's a big girl. She's a sucker for the knight on a white horse. Granted, her knight didn't drink as much as he did, nor did he swear, or scream and hit walls. But he did rescue her from idiotic, chauvinistic people who were just looking to be punched. Oh, now there was a lovely thought. Punching that chauvinistic, ridiculously patriotic, suspicious, adulterous, sex-obsessed bastard was seeming like an increasingly good idea.  
  
Because she is her own woman. She is a big girl. And it is most definitely not true that she really, really feels like kissing him thank you very thoroughly.


End file.
